# A question to those of you with a significant other



## Nightstalker (Mar 30, 2010)

Male or female other, it doesn't matter.

I was wondering, if any of you when you first started int his hobby, was met with some resistance from your other half. When you first mentioned that you wanted to get into this, how was it received initally? How were things when you got your first frog and how are thigns now? Is your other half into it now and if so, HOW DID YOU DO IT? What did you do that got them more involved/interested in it?

I'm asking because, like the rest of you, I KNOW that my first tank is NOT going to be my only tank.


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## RMB (Nov 26, 2009)

Lots of kiisssssses... Show her the cute froggies first before you explain how much they cost and the whole fly deal... Wasn't much of a problem for me with my wife, she thinks they're cute, and they also live in my fish shed, and cultures aren't hanging out in the living room. She actually took care of my leucs and my 100s of fish for a few days while I was in Mexico, and she did pretty good. 

I do have a fantastically awesome wife though... she puts up with a lot. In fact, a few days ago she came home and there was a new 20 gal aquarium setup, with stand and all sitting 5 feet in front of the door, and she walks right past it and didn't even notice. I said "Guess what I got honey?" and it took her a couple guesses before she saw it, that's just the regularity that I pick up new fish/critter junk.


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

Some advice on the issue . . .

Do it gradually so they dont get overwhelmed. A tank here and there untill they get used to it helps. Plus it will give them time for their own curiosity and interest to grow. Also If they are interested in it at all try to include them. Either give them a task to do when you work on your tanks. Like simply wiping down the glass , or something more fun , like feeding. You could also let him/her pick out some frogs that they like and can call their own. 

If they are not interested, thats fine to. im sure they have thier own hobbies that you might not be into either. 

With my current Gf now I started small with some leopard geckos. And made them our project. Ordered a couple here and there , then the orders would get bigger 20 instead of a few then 40 instead of 20 lol

Now we live together in a 2 bedroom apt and one room is the animal room. Lol

On the other end of the spectrum , I had gf's in the past that would debate with me about keeping animals in captivity and would yell at me when I was feeding crickets to the lizards . . . needless to say they didnt last long

sorry for the long post hope it makes sense


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## D3monic (Feb 8, 2010)

Its tough. I went through the roughest of it with her over reef tanks so the the frogs are pennys in the pond at this point. I had to sell a tank in order to be allowed a frog tank. I want a frog rack....I doubt I will ever be allowed to get one. She manages to make me feel guilty about the money I spend on the animals even though its money I earned. I thought that by setting up a tank just for her she might get alittle involved or atleast feign interest. Not the case. 

From my experiance in the world no matter what your hobby is women are going to make you feel guilty for having it. I am not saying that is always the case but It is the norm. Best bet is to be in a hobby prior to a relationship and finding someone that also enjoys that hobby. Obviously that could be dangerous financially especially in hobbys as addictive and expensive as frogs and reefs but atleast you will be broke and extremly happy. 

Just my .02.....


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

Yeah its unfortunate that some people just dont understand or care to. Its like if its not something THEY would be into then whats the point. Shame some people are that way and close minded.

But yeah having some prior to a relationship helps ALOT. 

If she just isnt into it , then comprimises help sometimes. like if you get a new tank and some frogs , then she gets a new purse or something like that. If its more fair in their eyes , its easier. Then again some people are just too difficult.


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## frogface (Feb 20, 2010)

My recommendation:

Get a tank for her too. One for her to build and stock with plants of her own. Get some cool orchids for it. Let her get into the terrarium side of it.

Then take her frog shopping.


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## D3monic (Feb 8, 2010)

nathan said:


> If she just isnt into it , then comprimises help sometimes. like if you get a new tank and some frogs , then she gets a new purse or something like that. If its more fair in their eyes , its easier. Then again some people are just too difficult.


Thats pretty much how it works in my case...altho its alot more expensive than a purse.  ...and she still tacks on the guilt.


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## joshsfrogs (May 6, 2004)

Relationships are about compromise. I traded my right to name any of our kids in order to fill our apartment with 3 frog tanks years ago.


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## ravengritz (Mar 2, 2009)

joshsfrogs said:


> Relationships are about compromise. I traded my right to name any of our kids in order to fill our apartment with 3 frog tanks years ago.


Great exchange, totally worth it. 

I've just added tanks sloooowly. One a year seems to be my husband's tolerance level. Unfortunately buying him sparkley things doesn't seem to help.
Melissa


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## carbonetc (Oct 13, 2008)

I never understand why people have such difficulty. I could see why someone might not want a big tank in a common area where space could be put to better use, or if money is tight and the expense can't be justified. But I want my significant other to have all of the passions and hobbies she pleases, and she wants the same for me. We revel in seeing each other throw ourselves into new activities we discover. Why wouldn't we? I don't want to be with someone whose curiosity about the world has faded and neither does she.

If you aren't in a relationship where the other person values your having joy and passion in your life, well, you have bigger things to worry about than how to acquire more frogs. Frankly, no one who chooses to stand between you and the things you love is worth your time.


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

Yeah if shes not into it ,compermise is the way to go. If she still makes you feel guilty about something you love then maybe its time to reevaluate the relationship. If youre married then this would be alot more difficult. But if its just a Gf . . . you know what they say about fish and the sea.


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

carbonetc said:


> I never understand why people have such difficulty. I could see why someone might not want a big tank in a common area where space could be put to better use, or if money is tight and the expense can't be justified. But I want my significant other to have all of the passions and hobbies she pleases, and she wants the same for me. We revel in seeing each other throw ourselves into new activities we discover. Why wouldn't we? I don't want to be with someone whose curiosity about the world has faded and neither does she.
> 
> If you aren't in a relationship where the other person values your having joy and passion in your life, well, you have bigger things to worry about than how to acquire more frogs. Frankly, no one who chooses to stand between you and the things you love is worth your time.


Couldnt have said it better myself!

Edit- Just realized this is my 1000th post Wahoo! lol


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## jeffr (May 15, 2009)

joshsfrogs said:


> Relationships are about compromise. I traded my right to name any of our kids in order to fill our apartment with 3 frog tanks years ago.


I guess she wanted to make sure none of her kids were named Blue Jean.


My biggest problem is my girlfriend likes all of the expensive frogs. We'll go to a meeting and she'll go right for the Escudos and Blue Jeans and tell me to buy them! I tell her no and she gets mad! When I told her how much I was getting back on my return she says now you can buy more frogs. Here I am thinking vaction, sitting on some beach, tropical drink in hand. And she's thinking frogs! So who has the addiction?


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## laylow (Apr 6, 2009)

With my wife its been a time and experience thing. I have bought her roses 2 times since we've been together lol. The first time she didn't show interest so I said forget that. The second time just happened to be the same day the kid up the block said fine come get the tank i'll accept your offer. She thought the roses were to soften the blow lol. Because of that she wasn't happy. We later got married and moved into an apartment as I attend school. Where I kitchen table should be we have a huge desk for school and a frog rack. 

The things that have helped are getting her involved. She watched as my first clutches of tads developed into frogs, this helped her get into it. She likes it when I get frogs cause she know she has money coming to spend on clothes lol. Its a exchange for every dollar I spend she gets the same amount to blow on her shopping habit. My breeder friend is AWESOME she enjoyes hanging out with him. . . Time helps, one day she saw an excaped azureus caught it and sprayed him down. This makes her love them now that she has helped save a frog.

Good luck!!!

Shaw


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

jeffr said:


> I guess she wanted to make sure none of her kids were named Blue Jean.
> 
> 
> My biggest problem is my girlfriend likes all of the expensive frogs. We'll go to a meeting and she'll go right for the Escudos and Blue Jeans and tell me to buy them! I tell her no and she gets mad! When I told her how much I was getting back on my return she says now you can buy more frogs. Here I am thinking vaction, sitting on some beach, tropical drink in hand. And she's thinking frogs! So who has the addiction?


Its like going to the zoo for them. They just get to do all the fun stuff like watch them. We get to do all the hard work ( if you consider it hard).


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## jeffr (May 15, 2009)

nathan said:


> Its like going to the zoo for them. They just get to do all the fun stuff like watch them. We get to do all the hard work ( if you consider it hard).


She actually mists them, she'll feed them. Plus she's in charge of the bean beetle cultures. She takes care of all the plants as well


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## christina hanson (Feb 16, 2004)

carbonetc said:


> I never understand why people have such difficulty. I could see why someone might not want a big tank in a common area where space could be put to better use, or if money is tight and the expense can't be justified. But I want my significant other to have all of the passions and hobbies she pleases, and she wants the same for me. We revel in seeing each other throw ourselves into new activities we discover. Why wouldn't we? I don't want to be with someone whose curiosity about the world has faded and neither does she.
> 
> If you aren't in a relationship where the other person values your having joy and passion in your life, well, you have bigger things to worry about than how to acquire more frogs. Frankly, no one who chooses to stand between you and the things you love is worth your time.


My goodness yes! 

On a personal note, I feel like Todd's and my mutual love for keeping the frogs has really enhanced our lives together. One of my favorite activities is the two of us planning a new terrarium, laying it all out, discussing the logistics over dinner, etc... Maybe having her help with that "decorating" aspect will get her excited about the prospect of the frog keeping, and some day you might also have 3 giant vivaria in your living room too !


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## skylsdale (Sep 16, 2007)

Before this I was big into aquariums: reefs and then later freshwater biotope and native setups. It got to a point where I actually dragged a kiddie pool into our basement, filled it up with water, installed a pump to create current and a few rocks...and stocked it with locally caught trout.

As I stood there, looking down at this purple plastic pool full of freaked out _Oncorhynchus mykiss_, I had one of those moments where I thought to myself: "I just went too far."

So compared to water changes, pumps, hauling home buckets of locally collected sand and gravel and wood pieces, the occasional experimental plumbing system failing and soaking the carpet...the frog hobby is pretty tame and much easier for my wife to deal with.


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## ChrisK (Oct 28, 2008)

jeffr said:


> My biggest problem is my girlfriend likes all of the expensive frogs. We'll go to a meeting and she'll go right for the Escudos and Blue Jeans and tell me to buy them! I tell her no and she gets mad! When I told her how much I was getting back on my return she says now you can buy more frogs. Here I am thinking vaction, sitting on some beach, tropical drink in hand. And she's thinking frogs! So who has the addiction?


Yeah I remember your gf pointing at my escudos and saying "those those!" to you haha


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## hpglow (Jun 8, 2009)

D3monic said:


> Its tough. I went through the roughest of it with her over reef tanks so the the frogs are pennys in the pond at this point. I had to sell a tank in order to be allowed a frog tank. I want a frog rack....I doubt I will ever be allowed to get one. She manages to make me feel guilty about the money I spend on the animals even though its money I earned. I thought that by setting up a tank just for her she might get alittle involved or atleast feign interest. Not the case.
> 
> From my experiance in the world no matter what your hobby is women are going to make you feel guilty for having it. I am not saying that is always the case but It is the norm. Best bet is to be in a hobby prior to a relationship and finding someone that also enjoys that hobby. Obviously that could be dangerous financially especially in hobbys as addictive and expensive as frogs and reefs but atleast you will be broke and extremly happy.
> 
> Just my .02.....


My wife and I don't even share accounts, what I spend money on is none of her business. We have operated like this for 8 years now and I reccomend to anyone that seporate bank accounts are one of the keys to a happy marrage. It is a little harder for guys with spouses that are stay at home parents, and honestly I have no experiance with that so I will let someone else touch on it. But we are both responible with our money. She is generally supportive of any hobby I undertake. She looks in my tadpole containment all the time to see what cool stuff I have growing.

I have had her take hobbies from me on occasion. I setup a 125G saltwater tank and immediatly I started seeing frags of crap I didn't want in there. I just shrugged it off and started another tank and let her have that one.

The only hobbies she ever gives me crap about are vehicles. She didn't like my motorcycle, and she dosn't like all the money that goes into a classic vehicle restoration.


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## jeffr (May 15, 2009)

ChrisK said:


> Yeah I remember your gf pointing at my escudos and saying "those those!" to you haha


Yep, I guess some women have an expensive taste for everything. including frogs


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## D3monic (Feb 8, 2010)

I would be perfectly happy if that was the case. I like the expensive frogs too. I think it was the reefing that ruined it for me. Damn expensive hobby, worse when they figure out that everything doesnt really cost $10 like you told them. We have 2 kids ....unfortunatly there is no easy out for me  Other than I spent $800 on frogs for my first purchase she doest really mind them too much. 

The reef and mandarin breeding just took way too much of my time from her.


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## Nightstalker (Mar 30, 2010)

Nice feedback, everyone. Didn't expect so much so fast, but it works.

I'm already married, so it looks like a lot of purses and shoes, lol. I spoil her the way it is. She always bitches that i'm on the computer so much, but I'm a gamer and have been since they came out with the home console for Pong. Yeah, i'm dating myself now, but it's all good. I can't just sit there and watch TV for hours on end. It drives me nuts.

I tried to get her into building a dollhouse with me (A BIG ONE) so we could spend time together and I'd be on the comp less. She wasn't as enthusiastic as I was about it.

Now, after having to go to the pet store constantly for our 2 dogs, cat and 4 ferrets (HER idea), I always had to walk by the herps on the endcap and look down the isle and see all the cool stuff. Did some research and WHAM, I come across PDFs. HOOKED and I didn't even have one yet. When next we BOTH went to the pet store, I broke the news showing her the small and medium exo terra tanks. She was OK with it. Little did she know I wanted the 36" tank. I showed her pictures of all the different frogs and the ones I'm interested in and she thought they were cute and pretty with the bright colors. I told her she could even name one. The one thing she's not too keen on is the FF and having to culture them. She's behind me on it and once I get the frogs, I think she will get into it a bit. Gotta wait and see.


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## flapjax3000 (Jul 4, 2009)

If you enjoy then they will support it. Just some advice. Keep the mess out of the way such as cultures, tank construction, etc. and the hobby will not get on her nerves. I have invading the living room and dining room with racks because I am restoring an 100 year old house room by room. Luckily she wants me to start on the frog room first to get the tanks out of her living space. Other than that I have had no problems except for occasional jokes. I am now known as the frog guy amongst her friends.


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## jeeperrs (Jan 14, 2010)

I had to compromise on a few things. 1. I swore to only one tank. 2. For every dollar I spent on frogs I spent on them. 3. I had "help" in picking the best looking frog. 4. I had "help" picking the plants. 5. I did all the work and get none of the credit ha-ha


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## poison beauties (Mar 1, 2010)

I was lucky, I met my wife while vending at a show back in 2000 and luckily we were both hooked, I was hooked on her and she was hooked on my critters. We married in 2001 and I ended up only having to trade off my venomous collection and a few large pythons to make it work when the kids came along. I have however heard plenty of success stories with introducing pdfs to wifes but do not lie about the money involved becouse that really is a slap in the face to them. I have a friend that spent thousands of dollars getting started in this hobby until the his wife found out that he spent about 50 times what he told her. Its been years and he still gets nothing and if he were to tell her no to buying her anything, well lets just say atl would have its first 10.0 earthquake. They never let lies about money go.


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## Dancing frogs (Feb 20, 2004)

Honestly, it's never been a problem. I do get some well-deserved dirty looks sometimes...like when I spend 2 hours of a gorgeous spring day to do frog chores...


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## rmelancon (Apr 5, 2004)

If you are not on the same page it is all about compromise. I had snakes before I got married, frogs were a compromise though I had pretty much made the decision to get out of big snakes around the same time I got into frogs so it was really a matter of not getting back into the snakes. Also if you haven't figured it out by now, women can change their mind on their compromises (and everything else) but you can't


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## Dancing frogs (Feb 20, 2004)

I just remembered a short relationship and how it ended...

About 2 years ago, I started seeing this girl, she pretty much let me know right away she didn't like the whole frog thing...at about 2 months into the relationship, she had the nerve to say "it's me or the frogs"...to which I replied..."I'm sure going to miss you".

Guess she wasn't as hot as she thought she was...


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## tangeckos (Mar 3, 2009)

Show your partner different frogs see what he/she likes like what colors/types and suprise them with their own that's what I did lol it worked for me


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## Nightstalker (Mar 30, 2010)

Tangeckos - I was thinking of doing EXACTLY that but with a smaller tank than the one I am currently building. Perhaps an 18 X 18 X 24 or maybe a 24 X 18 X 18. I want to get her into it more and maybe have her start misting for me sometimes. When I'm looking at the different frogs online, i've called her into my office to show her and she has expressed some interest.

Here is another question for you: How many people do you trust to take care of your frogs/tank (mist, feed etc...)?


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

Nightstalker said:


> Here is another question for you: How many people do you trust to take care of your frogs/tank (mist, feed etc...)?


VERY FEW PEOPLE

About 8 years ago I had a freind of mine take care of my animal collection when I went to Hawaii, He was an animal guy too & had his own collection - to sum it up whenI got back , my reef tank was half empty, there were large crickets eating all my baby lizards, and my rare mice were feed to my short tail possum because he thought he looked hungry . . . thats just to name a few things I can remember.

This year I went on break to the florida keys. Had my best freind take care of the frogs. Had him come over a few times to train him. Everyhting went well for the most part. One of my yellowback tincs jumped out when he wasnt looking , while feeding. Found frog jerky on the floor when I got home. But for the most part He did an awesome job.

The kicker is he isnt an animal guy. He has a toad that I bought for him and thats it. The freind that had his own collection did a horrible job . . . 

Bottom line - its a hit or miss thing. A bit of a gamble. but then again if you only have a few vivs to look after its alot easier then a collection of a couple hundred animals . . .

sorry for such a long reply


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## frogfreak (Mar 4, 2009)

Nightstalker said:


> Here is another question for you: How many people do you trust to take care of your frogs/tank (mist, feed etc...)?


Two

Our daughter and son. They know how much the frogs mean to us and would let nothing negative happen to them. We have yet to go on vacation since aquiring frogs. They kids have already been spoken to about caring for them. That was discussed prior to getting frogs. I can just imagine how many phone calls and pics we will get while away. That's fine with us. 

I can't comment on the other because we both share the same interests as far as froggin goes.


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## eldalote2 (Jun 3, 2009)

Even though I own frogs and flies, I thought the cultures were very nasty until I made my own. Once you realize the media is made out of Potatoe flakes (or something else) they just arnt as threatening. Also, laying out fly "traps" also helps with escapees if that is a concern. 

Also, let the significant other know that these frogs, for the most part, are cb and are not likely to die misteriously like freshwater or saltwater fish. So the money is well spent especially if you are interested in breeding.


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## frogface (Feb 20, 2010)

I pretty much resigned myself to never leaving home, once i decided to get darts. 

Actually, there is one fella here who is local to me. Maybe we could work something out.


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## D3monic (Feb 8, 2010)

Your luck he would just be after alittle amplexus action...


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## AJ50504 (Dec 3, 2008)

My GF is very supportive In any hobby that keeps me happy and out of trouble . She even came with me when I went to meet Jeremy at Chucks house to get my frogs. She makes sure all the lights are turned on for the frogs and fish in the morning if I'm still asleep. It dose help that she new what she was getting into when we met. As said before it's all about love and compromise. We both love the animal kingdom very much, and agree that if we choose to keep nature in our house we need to do the best job we can by making sure they are happy and healthy. We also talk about the money part of it, as it can get expensive. If I MUST have a new tank ,or frogs ,or snake, and the list goes on, I call before I buy it. Well most of the time lol. Her response is "As long as I can go shopping for more clothes". In return I make sure I try to support her in whet ever her interests are. 

P.S. A Nice dinner can go a long way

Thanks AJ.


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## Boondoggle (Dec 9, 2007)

Well, it helped that I was phasing out of a snake breeding business at the time. I purchased the first pair of frogs for her as a gift, then bought a pair every now an then when I got rid of a breeding pair of snakes. That was a trade she was willing to make.

I also tell her that all proceeds from froglets are hers to spend. So far she usually lets me spend it on tanks/froglets, but if she wants the money she gets it. 

Also, I purchased frogs very slowly at first. I had just the first pair for almost 2 years.

Good Luck


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## Dragonfly (Dec 5, 2007)

We were doing amazing until I started wanting every tadpole that morphed to have his/her own tank - and then get another for that cutie. Well, actually not quite true. Its more that I let her get the tarantulas she wants, help with her breeding projects and then we have offspring available for sale/trade. Just wish I could fit 400 frogs in here since there are 400 + tarantulas on the other side of the room.


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## fleshfrombone (Jun 15, 2008)

I hit the jackpot with my fiancee (getting hitched in June). She is beautiful, intelligent, patient, funny, genuine, and most importantly not a psycho. She supports everything I do for the most part. Even feigns interest in my collection once in a while, goes to greenhouses with me (and looks like I do when we go clothes shopping), and puts up with the occasional fruit fly escapee. My advice, if you aren't married yet, is find someone who gets you and treats you with respect. Life is way to short to be spending it with somebody that makes you unhappy or holds you back. In the end you'll resent them for it and be miserable. You get one go at life so make the most of it!


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## Eric Walker (Aug 22, 2009)

I worked with pythons well before I got together with my gf. those are a different story alltogether. the first year we he one get loose and crawl into bed with us. guess who got a little nip, not me after that anything was ok but the spiders.

mine also LOVES frogs as well but has had bad experience keeping them, so now she leaves it up to me


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## skylsdale (Sep 16, 2007)

fleshfrombone said:


> I hit the jackpot with my fiancee (getting hitched in June). She is beautiful, intelligent, patient, funny, genuine, and most importantly not a psycho.


That last part is always helpful...and often allows one to sleep better at night.


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## DendroTerra (Mar 28, 2010)

My wife has been incredibly supportive through my dart frog experience. She doesn't fawn over them like I do, but does like to peek in at them as well as hear them call.

She's be awesome since day one. There have been a couple small issues though... We live in a 2/2 condo. The master bedroom turned into the plant room, then the plant and fish room, then the plant, fish & frog room.

All was well,... Though when my frogging outgrew the master bedroom, she was a little reluctant for them to start taking over the whole place. She felt like she didn't have any space that was just hers.

That's when the promise was made to leave her part of our other bedroom totally hers. (We changed the living room to our bedroom, so both actual bedrooms are dedicated to different things. The master, frogs & plants, and the guest bedroom music, for me, and study desk, for her. The rest of the place is fair game)

Though I don't think she'll ever want to put in the hours and hours that I love to, she is happy to have them around... Though the promise of starting a business out of it as helped her along too. 

I guess I dealt with it before it ever happened: I got a great wife who is very supportive. I guess that would be the way to go!

Which brings me to this point: Sounds like some people are in a bad relationship.

P.S. I hit reply on the last one though meant this to be a reply to all.


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## fleshfrombone (Jun 15, 2008)

hahahahaha, I had to throw that in. It's been my experience in the past that hot = crazy with women (no offense ladies I respect women). Truth be told it's hard for me to sleep when she isnt with me.



skylsdale said:


> That last part is always helpful...and often allows one to sleep better at night.


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## siples (Aug 14, 2004)

When Lynn and I got married 16yrs ago, at that time I had 3 tanks going, I had reduced my collection. I took her to Chicago and picked up 3 dwarf tincs, on the way back she asked me "Where does this end", I thought maybe she meant the highway, no such luck, I told her it ended when I was dead. She is a good sport, hates the insects though that is a big drawback, and I have to do the semi-annual taking out all the tanks and despidering the frog room and overall cleaning. It's only 17 tanks but it seems time consuming. She does occasionally look at the frogs and puts up with my ranting and raving, I told her I could take up drinking and prostitutes, she told me if it is cheaper go right on ahead. All in all I can't complain.
Kieth


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## AJ50504 (Dec 3, 2008)

fleshfrombone said:


> hahahahaha, I had to throw that in. It's been my experience in the past that hot = crazy with women (no offense ladies I respect women). Truth be told it's hard for me to sleep when she isnt with me.


This is indeed a fact. It's just science


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## Rski (Jan 25, 2010)

Sorry it's super long!

If you don’t have any frogs, I would say start slowly. “I was perusing the internet today and came across this interesting web site on dart frogs….” (dart frogs, not poison dart frogs, remember we’re starting slowly here.) Try not to use too many technical terms in the beginning. Too many big/difficult words on an unknown subject is a bit difficult to comprehend, and would probably result in the other person tuning you out a bit. If you’re talking about a specific type of frog try and use the shorter abbreviated name (such as vents and not ventrimaculatus – vents is much easier to say and to remember.)

Try just touching on the subject just a little bit at a time when first introducing the subject. Also, try sharing some interesting tidbits, maybe a couple facts over dinner. “Did you know that…..” Avoid talking about culturing bugs for a while – most women don’t want to hear about having more bugs in their house. 

Show your significant other some pictures of the really nice vivs that people set up, and some neat pictures of the frogs. I love the pictures of the frogs carrying the tadpoles (I think it’s so cute!) If you can show the other person the frogs in real life, and not just a picture, it would probably be even better. I was talking to the bf about frogs for a few weeks and I kept getting a “we’ll see,” but after he saw them at a reptile show he thought they were pretty cool and said we could get them. We’re getting our first frogs this weekend! Yay! Super excited!

It might help to also make it a “together” project, and actually work on it together. (“I think it would be a fun project to work on together / spend some time together” ) Even if the other person might not seem too interested at first, I would still ask their opinion on a few things, it might drawl them into the project a bit more. (What do you think about these flowers? Which do you like better? Which ones would you choose? )


Just my opinion… It worked for me. heh


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## poimandres (Mar 28, 2009)

Two magical words that worked for me:

CRESTED GECKOS

Seriously! My GF has always been a bit indifferent to my hobby and was never happy about me spending money on frogs and snakes. She now has a 1.2 group of cresties because she wanted something to hold and interact with and is absolutely obsessed!

Now she IMs me at work showing me sales on cages and animals that we should get...Awesome! And as a big BIG bonus, yesterday I woke up to an empty bed went to the living room were I found her in her thong panties digging through her Crestie cage for eggs. Absolutely perfect!


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## nathan (Jul 24, 2009)

With my girlfriend If I use the latin names she looks at me with a blank stare. So I just go by color. Like '' Hey come and look at the red one with blue legs calling !"

Keep it simple and dont confuse them . . .


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## Julio (Oct 8, 2007)

i bet if you took a survery and asked every vendor who theri biggest competitor is and they will tell you WIFE/GIRLFRIEND of the buyer. Mine does kinda give me a look when i get a new tank or frog, but she accepts it since its my money and we dont' share any bank account.


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## frogparty (Dec 27, 2007)

poimandres
Now she IMs me at work showing me sales on cages and animals that we should get...Awesome! And as a big BIG bonus said:


> I think you have just lived the dream of every adolescent male herp keeper. NICE


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## frogparty (Dec 27, 2007)

nathan said:


> With my girlfriend If I use the latin names she looks at me with a blank stare. So I just go by color. Like '' Hey come and look at the red one with blue legs calling !"
> 
> Keep it simple and dont confuse them . . .


I think its sexy when my woman learns the latin names for things. 
Pleurothallis never sounded so good


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## Morgan Freeman (Feb 26, 2009)

My OH is just happy I have something I'm into which isn't going out getting drunk all the time, like most of my friends. She actually digs the fact I'm a bit of a geek, so win for me.

How to get your own frog room? Let her have the rest of the house to do what she wants with.


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## RarePlantBroker (Aug 3, 2008)

My wife and I both collect plants, and both love tropicals. My first PDF tank started as an aquarium I converted to a terrarium for her Episcia's and with a little room for some of my Pleurothallis and Masdevallia's. Actually, after completing the tank I made the comment that this would be "perfect for some dart frogs" and she said--go ahead--they'll eat any bugs that get in with her plants!

I started with one tank, and took 6 months before starting another. I'm now three years later and have 11 tanks in the house....and counting.

I guess that she prefers them to the 30+ snakes I had before our son was born (and the associated rat colony I bred in the garage for my pets and the local herp. society).

My wife has been very supportive, and realizes that this is my main hobby (and it's better than hanging out at the pub). She comes with me to shows, and we will make decisions together on what the "next frog" will be. The only thing that I haven't convinced her of is that Amazon Milk Frogs aren't too loud for in the house....

We do have a small zoo going on here, and the only pets that are my wife's are the Koi (even though I bought them all...). 

As for the flies, keep them out of sight, and make sure you police up the escapees at feeding time (while I don't mind eating a few FF's at breakfast, I'm in the minority). None of the feeder insects have been an issue--except that she doesn't want termites in the house (those get snuck in after collecting).

I just got back this weekend from a week-long camping trip with my son. My wife fed my frogs while away--and this is the first time I've not had a problem with a surrogate frog caretaker.

Just remember to keep things in the realm of reasonability when it comes to expenditures and the amount of space/time required for the hobby. I've been able to keep most of my frogs in the living room--provided I've done some carpentry work and built cabinets throughout the house (and not just for a frog rack).

Also, when considering purchasing a frog, play the calls online--and expound that they'll only really call in the daytime. I've found that a nice call goes further towards an "acceptable acquisition" than a pretty color....


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## Jarhead_2016 (Jan 7, 2010)

Well this is how my relationship goes 19 years old in college dating my gf for 1 year 5 months... she bought me my first frogs so i cant complain i got her addicted to the reef tank first then got her addicted to frogs she loves everything i love and as long as it looks cool she is okay with it, doesnt mind helping me out and feeding and misting. she does everything. i come home from work and go to feed the frogs and i get " oh its okay honey the humidity is at 90% and all of your frogs have gotten their melano's that were dusted with herptivite and repcal so come over here and take a nap with me" i love my life it just cant get any better. btw up to 3 frog tanks now and 2 saltwater tanks one is mine and one is hers. 
-scotty


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## dustin1231 (Apr 22, 2010)

Ive gotten lucky. they girl Ive been with since i was 17 hasn't really said anything about my hobbies... She loves the reef tanks, shes excited about the frogs. And even better she hasn't said too much about my other more expensive hobbies, At one point i had 2 Ducati's a Honda 450r quad and a lifted truck( I think she didn't mind those too much because she got to use them with out having to pay for them.) And for all her understand all i had to do was buy her a house and a ring.... still trying to figure out who won that deal....


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## Mr. Bronze (Aug 22, 2009)

No luck yet, this has been a 4 year project for me. Lately I been getting rid of my fish, just to make her think Im through with the hobby but what she doesn't know is that im ordering stuff to get ready for frogs. One day she is gonna come from work to find out herself whats going on and I hope they are loud too. Can't wait to see it happen!


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## poison beauties (Mar 1, 2010)

You can always ask for something much worse than frogs and I bet frogs will make a great midpoint to agree on. I told my wife 7 years ago I was going to florida to pick up a trio of albino eastern diamondbacks and she tried to convince me to just go get the Kahl line snow boas I had earlier mentioned which was what I wanted more. Just dont do what I did after that. I bought them all and tried to sneak the easterns in and it didn't work. They eventually grew on her and we sold off all of the boas, Reticulated python morphs, and my 14 foot manikwari barneck scrub. Nothing but frogs and rattlers now and I coudn't be happier.
Michael


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## Nixiness (Apr 21, 2010)

As far as my place is concerned - love me love my pets. He knows if it was a choice between him and my animals I would pick them. Keeps the boundaries nice and clear  I put up with OH's multiple computers and tools, he puts up with my pets. Well he is pretty partial to the geckos, indifferent to the snakes and coming frog. Owned by the cat. Lols


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